Tuesday, January 25, 2011

*%$!^%# hole OF THE CENTURY

"BLEEP hole of the Century"  I was recently bestowed that epic title.  I hardly felt qualified but somehow I went from nominee to winner in someones eyes after they read my text messages to them. This could happen to you if you email, text or participate in any eletronic form of communication so listen up because I will tell you how you can easily win such a coveted and nearly unavoidable title.

It's still such a surprise because I wasn't even trying to win.  Just like any contestant you've ever seen in a pageant I froze at the announcement and stuttered to make a speech.  I, too, hardly felt worthy with all the other contestant's who've worked so much more impressively.  In the end, I felt I had to decline the title of "BLEEP(hole) of the Century" but the winning left me wondering "how". Between you and me I didn't know women could be deemed "BLEEP holes" but these are mo dern times (not a typo) I guess.  How'd I do it?

Text Message
Here's the secret to my success:
Image Source

I sent a number of texts to someone whom I thought knew me very well.  When I didn't get any response, I injected a little levity into the conversation.  Boy did I get a response then, and that text I sent apparently, and unwittingly self-nominated my candidacy for "BLEEP hole of the Century".  "Whoa", I said, "Not what I meant at all", I said, "10,000 apologies" I said and under my breath "SHEEEEESH!".  In moments like that all you can do is smooth the ruffled feathers, pat them down with kisses and trust that you are forgiven.

Image source  Some time had passed and I believed the matter was cleared and more texts were sent, more misinterpretation and then lights began blinking frantically and sirens wailed and I was pronounced "BLEEP" hole of the Century!.  Some people would appreciate this title but I did not.  I don't want to be seen as a "BLEEP" hole of the Century, especially when I didn't intend to enter, and especially-ly (not a real word, I know!) because I care about my friend and would never nominate myself at the expense of our relationship.

I was handed my crown...and I was shocked, as I've said.  Truely, I'm not quite worthy but the committee won't be convinced of that, my retraction and apology were never accepted and I won because of the committee's decision.
You too could be a winner without really trying because:
Image source

"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” ~Wayne Dyer

As lovely as crowns are, I'm still not going to wear this one, even if the committee won't accept my resignation.  I'm telling you this because when people misunderstand your intentions and won't forgive you, I hope this blog post helps you to demystify what occurred.

Have you been bestowed nominations you are not worthy of?  If so, please tell! Include your crowned title.  Are there BLEEP holes of the millenium?  I just really don't want to be a winner here.



Monday, January 3, 2011



This is all generality of course, but let us say that something was said to you in a negative and non-genteel manner and a response is required. Is it possible for you to simply say: 

“Thank you, I’ll ponder that.”

or stick a candy bar in your face and think it over when what you really want is to rip off a face?  And you could do it too, with that mind set you're in!  But:
"You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to."~Jeanne Rausch
Might I recommend when you are in the throes of such moments, that you take a minute to unwad them undies, loosen the sphincter and exercise this calm wisdom?:
  • “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”~Winston Churchill
That little jerk-face may have a point, and you’ll miss it if you pull out your big guns and blast them to smithereens.  Once you blow this out of the water, any repair job you attempt will always contain cracks and it doesn't matter the amount of spit, glue, nor bandaids. 
I suggest you remember also that:
  • "If her past were your past, her pain your pain, her level of consciousness your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as she does. With this realization comes forgiveness, compassion, peace. The ego doesn’t like to hear this, because if it cannot be reactive and righteous anymore, it will lose strength."~Eckhart Tolle
When you were not as wise as you seem to think you are today, your experience with reality was limited, and so to the extent that you understood life you were correct in your thinking.  Trouble was: that extent was limited, grasshopper. Take note that: 
"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. "~Eric Hoffer
Then you developed a little wisdom because: 
“When the student is ready, the master appears."~Buddhist Proverb
You learned to:

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."  ~Anonymous (probably someones Mom)

 and also that:
"True wisdom is never separate from compassion." - Fred Rogers
Got something to say about that?!  Go right ahead in the comment section, I’d love to ponder that. 
If you were truly wise, you would follow this blog (^_~)