CHAT

Lots of people are meeting members of the opposite sex online these days and having first dates and it is required that you chat with that someone you do not yet know.  Even meeting people at a forth coming holiday party or other social setting requires talking to a perfect stranger.  Business networking... ok, you get the idea: you need to know how to talk new people without looking like a jerk, idiot, bore, stalker, desperado, needy or creepy.  Symptoms that you are blowing it:

1. When people back up as you are talking - stop inching forward.  You are being creepy.
2. When people are reluctant to answer the question you have just asked, back off.  You are being an obtrusive jerk.  You also seem like a stalker if the questions going unanswered are of a personal nature.
3. If you find you are doing most of the talking, well, it’s time to share the mike.  You are being a bore.  Yes you are, I don’t care how interesting you feel in that moment.
4. If you are winning an argument and you are loud, animated and spraying your words; seriously, you’re probably being a jerk.  It is probably not the first time either. 
5. If you only want to talk about yourself or how something went terribly wrong and it’s not your fault, hello:  You are being needy.  Yes you are, and the person you are talking to knows it and will bolt the first chance they get.  
6. If the person you want to talk to keeps getting away from you and you have had to look for them several times; they are ditching you and you need to know that you are being a bit of a stalker.
7. If you are staring at a person and they will not make eye contact with you, walk away.  Otherwise, you seem a tad creepy for not taking the hint that the individual does not want to chat with you.
8. If you are calling someone a name for not answering your questions, or participating in your discussion, I am sorry to tell you: you are being an idiot.  I know, you feel powerful and entitled but no, you’re just an idiot and others are too polite to tell you as much.  Mostly, nobody smart wants to argue with an idiot.

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
― Dave Barry

Comments? We'd love to hear examples of "winners" you've met at parties. 

THE TROUBLE WITH FICTION

 Beautiful model Tara

I recently saw this photo of a beautiful, voluptuous woman on FaceBook along with an article rebutting an offensive question this photo posed in a gym: whether one wants to be a whale or mermaid. Many of my friends LIKED the article raising hell about the whale/mermaid ad.

To moi,  the  woman in this photo is outwardly beautiful: manicured eyebrows, lovely hair, sultry lips, moisturized skin and pedicured feet.  To say one is beautiful because one is slender, well I beg to differ.  Worldly beauty demands maintenance, this woman maintains herself.  Her weight is but an ingredient in a recipe that would still be well received by many: what is not to like about a vibrant and passionate person; their embrace, their laughter?  

I agreed that mermaids are lovely, fictional creatures and feel this media generated sensation was a successful ploy against very real, lemming like human beings unwilling to think for themselves and I enjoyed the light rebuttal from what was likely a plus sized woman, right up until this part:

 “We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.”

The person who wrote that was probably kidding and that made me think that it was a jolly and maybe nervous coverup for what is true: you consume more fat and calories than you are willing to burn.  I can accept that and you should, too.  

That ad was offensive and I bet it was more discouraging than it was encouraging.  Please  keep this in mind: 

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

Did this article leave you with something to say?  Sound off in the comment section.  All comments welcome. Really

Designated Drinks

Mocktails

I remember the first time I saw a Tequila Sunrise, it looked enchanting to me.  It proved most unkind to my innards and I remember that, too.  I am still smitten with the color variation and the fruit inside.  I really don’t like all the calories of imbibing but I must say, I am highly attracted the visual appeal of some cocktails.  Join this with the light sparkle of a club soda and you will have made a friend in me. 

The challenge with altering a cocktail into a mocktail is that liquor usually has to be offset with sweetness of some measure to make it bearable to mere mortals.  Remove that turpentine, stomach fire ingredient and you need to bring new balance to your drinky-poo.  Club soda’s and mineral waters offer something bitter as does a squeeze of lemon or lime.  These are lighter than fruit juices and if you add your colored portion slowly, you can achieve a magical sunrise or dawn appearance in your glass.  Impart dark ingredients, like a pomegranate or mottle a dark berry, and you have  achieved something that won’t threaten maschismo.  Real men won’t give a fig, however.   Shown:  Pomegranate Blueberry Mocktail recipe from Annie’s Eats. 

Now keep in mind that some drinks will leave you wanting, like a Nojito because my taste buds invariable will go: Hey! Where’s the beef (-eater)!  It may be best to try something unknown to your taste buds to avoid the indignant, disappointing backlash from your inner lush.  How about a non-alcohol Cosmo like this one from allrecipes or a Designated Appletini from the Confessionsofthetruefoodski.  Look man, I don’t know what you like, those are just my ideas but:

 

There is an app for that...

50+ Most Popular Mocktails, and it will cost you: $1.99.  The mocktail’s featured here can be ordered at a bar or made at home and the point here is that you don’t have to feel the dullard when you choose not to imbibe.  We know how scintillating you like to be.

You pre-packaged loving, short-cut taking, non-purists may enjoy Crystal light’s versions with cheerful little packets of mocktails toting only 5 calories.  I am not really the biggest fan of the artificial sweeteners since I have learned that they actually make you crave sweets but I know there are those of you who just shrug at this.  The good folks at Crystal Light treasure you silly darlings as you are good for business.  Feel free to try their Mojito, Margarita and Appletini flavors which are available for a limited time.  Mix them up in a pitcher, throw in some ice, and decorate your glasses just like you would with a high calorie drink and get your cheer on!

Do you have a great mocktail recipe or comment? I love it when you share =)

Comment below.

Lazy, -er Slow Cooking

I love to cook!  Sometimes.  I love to eat all of the time.  Good stuff I mean; flavorful, thought out, healthy food.  Things that make you close your eyes to savor the taste, texture, aroma.  It's really hard for me to settle on Mc Fries and Burger Thing.  And I said I was not going to buy another cookbook but gosh, they are some of my favorite things to read.  I found this one and absolutely must tell you about it.  

real slow cooking by kathryn hawkins


Now don't let the chopped, shucked, diced and sprigged cover fool you, there are some taste bud fabulous things going on between the covers.  Things that never occurred to me are going in the pot and returning taste and smell rewards extraordinaire.  Like what?  Ok, I will tell you like what... Have you ever thought to put stuffed bell peppers (with lean sausage) in a crock pot?  Or make a dessert like a fruit cobbler in the crock pot?  Or roll fish fillets around salmon, atop diced fresh vegetables in a crock pot?  Or make an ethnic dish, a Thai one... in the crock pot!  Ok smart-arse, I haven't and I humbly bow to Ms. Hawkins for composing such wizardry.  I found it at Barnes and Noble but of course Amazon.com has it.  Oh, and it is on sale =) because I am lazy AND cheap.  Just like you.

Update...

Recently I showed some dazzling pebble mosaics on my blog like this where designer/artisans arranged flat pebbles on there sides in enchanting visual patterns.  While the pebble mosaic is an incredible treat to the eyes, those round pebbles are slippery to walk on en masse, and don't even think about doing so if you are wearing high heeled shoes.  Can you say "Birkenstock friendly only"?  Nonetheless, pebble mosaics are unforgettable and so here is what I'm doing with the inspiration:

Years ago I had my patio made by my design with the top composed of flagstone pavers with the delightful name of Purple Mountains Majesty.  I liked the pavers well enough but the cement grout really left something to be desired.   For me the cement was not organic enough and lacked a visual quality.  I was stuck with it's monotony for a while and then low and behold the grout began to crack.  This could be a maintenance cringe for some but I was singing hallelujah's because I saw it as a chance at plan B: do a pebble mosaic the grout lines!  

Yes, this is a time consuming project but I am enjoying the transformation.  It's coming out exactly as I imagined with the Mexican Beach Pebbles doing their job magnificently.  I hand picked the flat stones (along with my family) at the rock quarry for their flatness.  

When the pebble mosaic grout is finished, I will add a glossy sealer to the flagstone paver and pebble surface which will reveal the hue variations of the natural materials.  Keep watching and if you have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comment section.

The original pebble mosaic post is here: Off the Beaten Path with photos and instructional link.

Thought for the day is:

To Lose Patience is To Lose The Battle by Olive_Rosehips

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ROSE PETALS ...

You ever see that sarcastic bunny?  Well, his androgynous tail isn't the only one who knows how to have fun.  Here's (magnetic) proof:

Lovely You by Olive_Rosehips

Grass Hole by Olive_Rosehips

Fabulous Called by Olive_Rosehips

I'm here until Tuesday!  Ok, I'm always here and these are for sale.  Always.

Off the Beaten Path...

Cobblestone or pebble mosaic path by MaggyHowarth.  This design is created by imbedding individual stones in cement according to a predesigned pattern.  This one is very colorful and intricate but simpler ones are quite the eye candy, also.

Having long been a fan of cobblestone mosaics, I have patiently waited for a chance to do something with this art form that doesn't take a lifetime, after all, I do have a day job.

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Well, darn it, the grout between my flagstone has cracked in various places and needs tending to.  Hmm, cobblestones!

Get some of these from your local rock yard after looking at inspiration like this and see what you can make.

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 This vining pebble mosaic here in the grout line gave me the inspiration go do a cobblestone grout project.  While this flat stone vein is attractive, I craved something stunning.  Placing the stones on their side will do the trick.  I believe this will take me the better part of the summer to complete, so you can expect a progress check blog later.

Fine Gardening was kind enough to instruct us on how to create a pebble mosaic. Photo by Virginia Small.  

I want to share with you a much smaller project because I suspect your grout is fine and some of you wouldn't mind creating a stunning pebble mosaic in this lifetime.  Check out these outdoor mosaic projects:

The contrived tree rends a healthy workload.

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