CHAT

Lots of people are meeting members of the opposite sex online these days and having first dates and it is required that you chat with that someone you do not yet know.  Even meeting people at a forth coming holiday party or other social setting requires talking to a perfect stranger.  Business networking... ok, you get the idea: you need to know how to talk new people without looking like a jerk, idiot, bore, stalker, desperado, needy or creepy.  Symptoms that you are blowing it:

1. When people back up as you are talking - stop inching forward.  You are being creepy.
2. When people are reluctant to answer the question you have just asked, back off.  You are being an obtrusive jerk.  You also seem like a stalker if the questions going unanswered are of a personal nature.
3. If you find you are doing most of the talking, well, it’s time to share the mike.  You are being a bore.  Yes you are, I don’t care how interesting you feel in that moment.
4. If you are winning an argument and you are loud, animated and spraying your words; seriously, you’re probably being a jerk.  It is probably not the first time either. 
5. If you only want to talk about yourself or how something went terribly wrong and it’s not your fault, hello:  You are being needy.  Yes you are, and the person you are talking to knows it and will bolt the first chance they get.  
6. If the person you want to talk to keeps getting away from you and you have had to look for them several times; they are ditching you and you need to know that you are being a bit of a stalker.
7. If you are staring at a person and they will not make eye contact with you, walk away.  Otherwise, you seem a tad creepy for not taking the hint that the individual does not want to chat with you.
8. If you are calling someone a name for not answering your questions, or participating in your discussion, I am sorry to tell you: you are being an idiot.  I know, you feel powerful and entitled but no, you’re just an idiot and others are too polite to tell you as much.  Mostly, nobody smart wants to argue with an idiot.

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
― Dave Barry

Comments? We'd love to hear examples of "winners" you've met at parties. 

THE TROUBLE WITH FICTION

 Beautiful model Tara

I recently saw this photo of a beautiful, voluptuous woman on FaceBook along with an article rebutting an offensive question this photo posed in a gym: whether one wants to be a whale or mermaid. Many of my friends LIKED the article raising hell about the whale/mermaid ad.

To moi,  the  woman in this photo is outwardly beautiful: manicured eyebrows, lovely hair, sultry lips, moisturized skin and pedicured feet.  To say one is beautiful because one is slender, well I beg to differ.  Worldly beauty demands maintenance, this woman maintains herself.  Her weight is but an ingredient in a recipe that would still be well received by many: what is not to like about a vibrant and passionate person; their embrace, their laughter?  

I agreed that mermaids are lovely, fictional creatures and feel this media generated sensation was a successful ploy against very real, lemming like human beings unwilling to think for themselves and I enjoyed the light rebuttal from what was likely a plus sized woman, right up until this part:

 “We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.”

The person who wrote that was probably kidding and that made me think that it was a jolly and maybe nervous coverup for what is true: you consume more fat and calories than you are willing to burn.  I can accept that and you should, too.  

That ad was offensive and I bet it was more discouraging than it was encouraging.  Please  keep this in mind: 

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

Did this article leave you with something to say?  Sound off in the comment section.  All comments welcome. Really