Tuesday, January 25, 2011

*%$!^%# hole OF THE CENTURY

"BLEEP hole of the Century"  I was recently bestowed that epic title.  I hardly felt qualified but somehow I went from nominee to winner in someones eyes after they read my text messages to them. This could happen to you if you email, text or participate in any eletronic form of communication so listen up because I will tell you how you can easily win such a coveted and nearly unavoidable title.

It's still such a surprise because I wasn't even trying to win.  Just like any contestant you've ever seen in a pageant I froze at the announcement and stuttered to make a speech.  I, too, hardly felt worthy with all the other contestant's who've worked so much more impressively.  In the end, I felt I had to decline the title of "BLEEP(hole) of the Century" but the winning left me wondering "how". Between you and me I didn't know women could be deemed "BLEEP holes" but these are mo dern times (not a typo) I guess.  How'd I do it?

Text Message
Here's the secret to my success:
Image Source

I sent a number of texts to someone whom I thought knew me very well.  When I didn't get any response, I injected a little levity into the conversation.  Boy did I get a response then, and that text I sent apparently, and unwittingly self-nominated my candidacy for "BLEEP hole of the Century".  "Whoa", I said, "Not what I meant at all", I said, "10,000 apologies" I said and under my breath "SHEEEEESH!".  In moments like that all you can do is smooth the ruffled feathers, pat them down with kisses and trust that you are forgiven.

Image source  Some time had passed and I believed the matter was cleared and more texts were sent, more misinterpretation and then lights began blinking frantically and sirens wailed and I was pronounced "BLEEP" hole of the Century!.  Some people would appreciate this title but I did not.  I don't want to be seen as a "BLEEP" hole of the Century, especially when I didn't intend to enter, and especially-ly (not a real word, I know!) because I care about my friend and would never nominate myself at the expense of our relationship.

I was handed my crown...and I was shocked, as I've said.  Truely, I'm not quite worthy but the committee won't be convinced of that, my retraction and apology were never accepted and I won because of the committee's decision.
You too could be a winner without really trying because:
Image source

"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” ~Wayne Dyer

As lovely as crowns are, I'm still not going to wear this one, even if the committee won't accept my resignation.  I'm telling you this because when people misunderstand your intentions and won't forgive you, I hope this blog post helps you to demystify what occurred.

Have you been bestowed nominations you are not worthy of?  If so, please tell! Include your crowned title.  Are there BLEEP holes of the millenium?  I just really don't want to be a winner here.




  1. The number of times people have taken what I say, and assume their worst intentions baffles me. I'm only looking for the best, they assume the very worst. Instead of seeking clarification, they assume. What's up with that? Hopefully people will read this and do a little work to understand. Because too often, relationships are destroyed over this.

  2. I have never had it happen to me , But I Absolutely agree with ( Frayed Knot ), so many people do sadly assume the worst case option, and so much unintensional hurt can evolve.Life is far, far, too short to carry grudges . Great piece, love ya site, cheers, Mal..

  3. This is awful. Sorry you went through it. After your post a few back, I read the FOUR AGREEMENTS (thank you, btw), this friend's response to you is obviously more about them than you. Take care and keep focusing your energy on the positive. Best, Ez