Sunday, December 26, 2010


When you're laying across the bed, real quiet like, you can sometimes make sense of things.  This is how this one began: I was appalled at something someone had said, they were not talking to me but I  astonished at their callous words. Ok, I was lurking/eavesdropping on Twitter.  It couldn't be helped.

There have been occasions that people have said things to me that stopped me like a deer in headlights.  As a mother, I've seen this happen to my children, I've seen it happen to friends.  I've personally been both perpetrator and victim and seen generally the same reaction: it hurts.  

This matter followed me around in my mind recently, waiting patiently for it's turn in my busy day and when I sprawled out on the bed it insisted on being heard.  As a writer, I am very accustomed to listening to the voices in my head but for a few years now I've been drawn towards sharing more than fictional words.  This is no different, I have to tell you this.  I'm really only reminding you what you already know on some level:


Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."

This is the second agreement from a book a friend recommended by Don Miguel Ruiz called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS.  I wish I had read this book when I was 5 which is unrealistic but it would have saved me a lot of trouble.  I can not tell you how many times I've reacted and struggled with wondering how someone could be so hurtful towards me.  I've wondered how celebrities could be unfaithful, kids so mean, PTO moms so back biting, co-workers so rude... 

My own children have come to me puzzled when they were tots, saying things like "Luke was so mean today."  Initially I'd ask "What did you do to Luke that made him respond to you like that?" and the answer was "Nothing. I didn't do anything to him.".  

I had to get to the bottom of these little mysteries once and for all.  When I pursued each, more often than not, it turned out that the other person was coming from a place of personal pain or struggle and the affront was not based on the receiver being a jerk but the giver was hurt.  Yes hurt: 

"Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath."~ Eckhart Tolle

So, the next time someone blows your hair back with a dis(respect) that seems bigger than need be, please remember not to take it personally.  When the time is right, and if you care to know what's really going on, perhaps you can request that they help you to understand why they responded to you in that manner.  Your overture should bring an opportunity for healing and understanding for all parties concerned.

Can you relate to this?  I know you can! Leave me a comment.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010



You've been "grazing" for weeks, blame it on the holidays... but you  still need a delicious plan for cutting that crap out. You know you've got to switch to lower fat, calories, carbs but your taste buds are still delighting in the naughty, carefree catastrophe you've been indulging in and bland fare won't satisfy at this point.  That's ok, we can fool a taste bud just like your mother did when you were 4: with a condiment!  Yes, adult palate condiments and not something silly like catsup or ranch dressing.

Image  source: Mark Reigelman’s ‘Bite’ silverware collection  

First, you're going to grill or bake lean proteins, add plenty of vegetables: roasted or grilled, decrease your carbs by half and then a CONDIMENT with (top or on the side) your protein (seafood, meat/tofu/veggie burger) to quiet your spoiled taste buds which crave excitement formerly known as fat and calories and carbohydrates.  A great one to try is:

You know, the green salsa.  It has a great flavor pop from the zing of the tomatillo (think green tomato) and comes in heat options like mild to put the bathroom tissue in the cooler.  Most condiment makers carry a version of salsa verde or you can make your own with a recipe like this one from CLOSET COOKING, but where you're going to get tomatillo's from I just don't know.  Good luck with that!

Since we're already in the Latino state of mind.  You can purchase this but it's excellent freshly made and easy to prepare if you have a sharp knife handy.  CLOSET COOKING also has a simple pico de gallo recipe because pico de gallo is merely tomatoes, onions, garlic, cilantro, lime and jalepenos if you're not faint of heart (+salt & pepper).

Other big flavors to try with your boring baked or roasted  protein, salad and the other dull healthy foods are: dijon mustards, balsamic vinaigrette, squeeze of lime, soy sauce, or Sriracha which was recently Bon Appetit magazine's condiment of the year.  Oh, that Sriracha (rooster sauce), a chili sauce,  will gladly burn your face off if you are a spicy heat virgin but you can stir it into a plain, low fat yogurt and have a sour heat experience which is enjoyable with seafood such a crab cakes, shrimp and or fish.

Other *OR shared/found recipe "blasts from the past" are the Criminal Crab cake found here(scroll down) and the Pesto sauce which can serve as a condiment (substitute basil or other leafy green like spinach if basil is not available to you).

Do you have a reasonably healthy condiment that I didn't mention? Just leave a comment with your great idea!  Thanks for reading and let me know if you found inspiration in any of the condiment options.

*OR=Olive Rosehips