Lots of people are meeting members of the opposite sex online these days and having first dates and it is required that you chat with that someone you do not yet know. Even meeting people at a forth coming holiday party or other social setting requires talking to a perfect stranger. Business networking... ok, you get the idea: you need to know how to talk new people without looking like a jerk, idiot, bore, stalker, desperado, needy or creepy. Symptoms that you are blowing it:
- When people back up as you are talking - stop inching forward. You are being creepy.
- When people are reluctant to answer the question you have just asked, back off. You are being an obtrusive jerk. You also seem like a stalker if the questions going unanswered are of a personal nature.
- If you find you are doing most of the talking, well, it’s time to share the mike. You are being a bore. Yes you are, I don’t care how interesting you feel in that moment.
- If you are winning an argument and you are loud, animated and spraying your words; seriously, you’re probably being a jerk. It is probably not the first time either.
- If you only want to talk about yourself or how something went terribly wrong and it’s not your fault, hello: You are being needy. Yes you are, and the person you are talking to knows it and will bolt the first chance they get.
- If the person you want to talk to keeps getting away from you and you have had to look for them several times; they are ditching you and you need to know that you are being a bit of a stalker.
- If you are staring at a person and they will not make eye contact with you, walk away. Otherwise, you seem a tad creepy for not taking the hint that the individual does not want to chat with you.
- If you are calling someone a name for not answering your questions, or participating in your discussion, I am sorry to tell you: you are being an idiot. I know, you feel powerful and entitled but no, you’re just an idiot and others are too polite to tell you as much. Mostly, nobody smart wants to argue with an idiot.
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
― Dave Barry
― Dave Barry
Comments? We'd love to hear examples of "winners" you've met at parties.