CONTROL YOURSELF

You ever have an off-hand remark stop you in your tracks?  I do on occasion, like today.  It's probably not a bad thing that I was frozen like a deer in headlights because it prevented what could have been a regrettable response.  Later, I thought about pulling the speaker of the astonishing remark aside and having a discussion but it occurred that she was entitled to her opinion so I just said to myself : Wow. When I'd said wow about 7 times I followed up with: "Enough of this.  I am going to keep the good of what she said and release the bad.  I am going to move on with the grace that she did not possess."  With that, the concern vanished.  Why am I telling you this?  Because sometimes we forget that we have control over our thoughts.  We don't have to go for the ride that our inner dialog can take us on.  These quotes inspire me, I hope you'll let them inspire you.  The calm mind is attainable.    

Remember that poise and power are inseparably associated. The calm and balanced mind is the strong and great mind; the hurried and agitated mind is the weak one.~ Wallace D. Wattles 

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." — Marcus Aurelius

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.~Marcus Aurelius


"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
— Marcus Aurelius

"WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT!"

Image Source

I worked with this one chick, and she used to *irritate me endlessly.  

We were given directives at work and expected to carry them out.  She would get such a look on her face and go and complain.  I would roll my round petulant eyes and wish she would just shut up and deliver.  I cringed at making the boss mad.

"Discontent is the first necessity of progress." 

— Thomas A. Edison 

That was a looooooong time ago**.  I’ve never forgotten that obstinate chick.  For years I believed she lingered in my mind because she was such a jerk. Then one day, something occurred to me and forevermore I realize she lingered because I was such a people pleaser.  I have since found balance.  You can learn a lot from a jerk.  Now, when things are ridonculous, I'm the first to say, with a wry smile, "We'll just see about that!".  I don't go in with guns and fireworks like MsThing did. Mine is a more poignant and disarming process. I generally say "can we find another way to accomplish this?" or "help me to understand...".  I do that because I'm hoping to prevent and calm opposition by those who would have me conform and fit neatly into there pre-made box.  Read on.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." — George Bernard Shaw 

She raised hell, that chica.  She was, at times, a 4’9” piranha and I did not like her much.  We were tasked with the most stressful demands and I wanted to buckle down and get it done.  She marched her angry self into the bosses office and flat out told him what she thought of his demands.  Meanwhile, I kept thinking how I wished she’d just be quiet.  I reasoned: “You don’t see any of us complaining, do you?”.   I’ll cut to the chase: the boss found another way to get things done.  I learned something that day but it took years of rankle and resentment before I could see what was right in front of me.  So...

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." 

— Jack Kerouac 

And just so you know:

*"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." 

— Carl Gustav Jung  

**“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” -Pema Chodron

If something is lingering on your mind, sit with it a minute. 

Complaining is not necessarily bad.

"You will never change what you tolerate." — JO 

Know what I mean?  A response or comment is most welcome.  Are you following my RSS or this blog?  Wish you would =)

Namaste,

~Olive

*%$!^%# hole OF THE CENTURY

"BLEEP hole of the Century"  I was recently bestowed that epic title.  I hardly felt qualified but somehow I went from nominee to winner in someones eyes after they read my text messages to them. This could happen to you if you email, text or participate in any eletronic form of communication so listen up because I will tell you how you can easily win such a coveted and nearly unavoidable title.

It's still such a surprise because I wasn't even trying to win.  Just like any contestant you've ever seen in a pageant I froze at the announcement and stuttered to make a speech.  I, too, hardly felt worthy with all the other contestant's who've worked so much more impressively.  In the end, I felt I had to decline the title of "BLEEP(hole) of the Century" but the winning left me wondering "how". Between you and me I didn't know women could be deemed "BLEEP holes" but these are mo dern times (not a typo) I guess.  How'd I do it?

Here's the secret to my success:
Image Source

I sent a number of texts to someone whom I thought knew me very well.  When I didn't get any response, I injected a little levity into the conversation.  Boy did I get a response then, and that text I sent apparently, and unwittingly self-nominated my candidacy for "BLEEP hole of the Century".  "Whoa", I said, "Not what I meant at all", I said, "10,000 apologies" I said and under my breath "SHEEEEESH!".  In moments like that all you can do is smooth the ruffled feathers, pat them down with kisses and trust that you are forgiven.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!
Image source  Some time had passed and I believed the matter was cleared and more texts were sent, more misinterpretation and then lights began blinking frantically and sirens wailed and I was pronounced "BLEEP" hole of the Century!.  Some people would appreciate this title but I did not.  I don't want to be seen as a "BLEEP" hole of the Century, especially when I didn't intend to enter, and especially-ly (not a real word, I know!) because I care about my friend and would never nominate myself at the expense of our relationship.


HUH?!
I was handed my crown...and I was shocked, as I've said.  Truely, I'm not quite worthy but the committee won't be convinced of that, my retraction and apology were never accepted and I won because of the committee's decision.
You too could be a winner without really trying because:
Image source



"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” ~Wayne Dyer

 YOUR HIGHNESS

As lovely as crowns are, I'm still not going to wear this one, even if the committee won't accept my resignation.  I'm telling you this because when people misunderstand your intentions and won't forgive you, I hope this blog post helps you to demystify what occurred.

Image source

Have you been bestowed nominations you are not worthy of?  If so, please tell! Include your crowned title.  Are there BLEEP holes of the millenium?  I just really don't want to be a winner here.

Namaste,

~Olive

JUST SAYIN

WHY YOU SHOULD LET THAT SLIDE...

This is all generality of course, but let us say that something was said to you in a negative and non-genteel manner and a response is required. Is it possible for you to simply say: 

“Thank you, I’ll ponder that.”

or stick a candy bar in your face and think it over when what you really want is to rip off a face?  And you could do it too, with that mind set you're in!  But:

"You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to."~Jeanne Rausch

Might I recommend when you are in the throes of such moments, that you take a minute to unwad them undies, loosen the sphincter and exercise this calm wisdom?:

• “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”~Winston Churchill

That little jerk-face may have a point, and you’ll miss it if you pull out your big guns and blast them to smithereens.  Once you blow this out of the water, any repair job you attempt will always contain cracks and it doesn't matter the amount of spit, glue, nor bandaids. 

I suggest you remember also that:

• "If her past were your past, her pain your pain, her level of consciousness your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as she does. With this realization comes forgiveness, compassion, peace. The ego doesn’t like to hear this, because if it cannot be reactive and righteous anymore, it will lose strength."~Eckhart Tolle

When you were not as wise as you seem to think you are today, your experience with reality was limited, and so to the extent that you understood life you were correct in your thinking.  Trouble was: that extent was limited, grasshopper. Take note that: 

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. "~Eric Hoffer

Then you developed a little wisdom because: 

“When the student is ready, the master appears."~Buddhist Proverb

You learned to:

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."  ~Anonymous (probably someones Mom)

 and also that:

"True wisdom is never separate from compassion." - Fred Rogers

Got something to say about that?!  Go right ahead in the comment section, I’d love to ponder that. 

If you were truly wise, you would follow this blog (^_~)

WHY?! I'LL TELL YOU WHY

When you're laying across the bed, real quiet like, you can sometimes make sense of things.  This is how this one began: I was appalled at something someone had said, they were not talking to me but I  astonished at their callous words. Ok, I was lurking/eavesdropping on Twitter.  It couldn't be helped.

There have been occasions that people have said things to me that stopped me like a deer in headlights.  As a mother, I've seen this happen to my children, I've seen it happen to friends.  I've personally been both perpetrator and victim and seen generally the same reaction: it hurts.  

This matter followed me around in my mind recently, waiting patiently for it's turn in my busy day and when I sprawled out on the bed it insisted on being heard.  As a writer, I am very accustomed to listening to the voices in my head but for a few years now I've been drawn towards sharing more than fictional words.  This is no different, I have to tell you this.  I'm really only reminding you what you already know on some level:

"DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY 

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."

This is the second agreement from a book a friend recommended by Don Miguel Ruiz called THE FOUR AGREEMENTS.  I wish I had read this book when I was 5 which is unrealistic but it would have saved me a lot of trouble.  I can not tell you how many times I've reacted and struggled with wondering how someone could be so hurtful towards me.  I've wondered how celebrities could be unfaithful, kids so mean, PTO moms so back biting, co-workers so rude... 

My own children have come to me puzzled when they were tots, saying things like "Luke was so mean today."  Initially I'd ask "What did you do to Luke that made him respond to you like that?" and the answer was "Nothing. I didn't do anything to him.".  

I had to get to the bottom of these little mysteries once and for all.  When I pursued each, more often than not, it turned out that the other person was coming from a place of personal pain or struggle and the affront was not based on the receiver being a jerk but the giver was hurt.  Yes hurt: 

"Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath."~ Eckhart Tolle

So, the next time someone blows your hair back with a dis(respect) that seems bigger than need be, please remember not to take it personally.  When the time is right, and if you care to know what's really going on, perhaps you can request that they help you to understand why they responded to you in that manner.  Your overture should bring an opportunity for healing and understanding for all parties concerned.

Can you relate to this?  I know you can! Leave me a comment.


Namaste,

~Olive

LET'S TALK

 FOLLOW THIS BLOG OR THE RSS! 

You've been "grazing" for weeks, blame it on the holidays... but you  still need a delicious plan for cutting that crap out. You know you've got to switch to lower fat, calories, carbs but your taste buds are still delighting in the naughty, carefree catastrophe you've been indulging in and bland fare won't satisfy at this point.  That's ok, we can fool a taste bud just like your mother did when you were 4: with a condiment!  Yes, adult palate condiments and not something silly like catsup or ranch dressing.

Image  source: Mark Reigelman’s ‘Bite’ silverware collection  

First, you're going to grill or bake lean proteins, add plenty of vegetables: roasted or grilled, decrease your carbs by half and then a CONDIMENT with (top or on the side) your protein (seafood, meat/tofu/veggie burger) to quiet your spoiled taste buds which crave excitement formerly known as fat and calories and carbohydrates.  A great one to try is:

SALSA VERDE

You know, the green salsa.  It has a great flavor pop from the zing of the tomatillo (think green tomato) and comes in heat options like mild to put the bathroom tissue in the cooler.  Most condiment makers carry a version of salsa verde or you can make your own with a recipe like this one from CLOSET COOKING, but where you're going to get tomatillo's from I just don't know.  Good luck with that!

PICO DE GALLO
Since we're already in the Latino state of mind.  You can purchase this but it's excellent freshly made and easy to prepare if you have a sharp knife handy.  CLOSET COOKING also has a simple pico de gallo recipe because pico de gallo is merely tomatoes, onions, garlic, cilantro, lime and jalepenos if you're not faint of heart (+salt & pepper).

FLAVOR
Other big flavors to try with your boring baked or roasted  protein, salad and the other dull healthy foods are: dijon mustards, balsamic vinaigrette, squeeze of lime, soy sauce, or Sriracha which was recently Bon Appetit magazine's condiment of the year.  Oh, that Sriracha (rooster sauce), a chili sauce,  will gladly burn your face off if you are a spicy heat virgin but you can stir it into a plain, low fat yogurt and have a sour heat experience which is enjoyable with seafood such a crab cakes, shrimp and or fish.

Other *OR shared/found recipe "blasts from the past" are the Criminal Crab cake found here(scroll down) and the Pesto sauce which can serve as a condiment (substitute basil or other leafy green like spinach if basil is not available to you).


Do you have a reasonably healthy condiment that I didn't mention? Just leave a comment with your great idea!  Thanks for reading and let me know if you found inspiration in any of the condiment options.
~Olive


*OR=Olive Rosehips

PASSWORD MANAGERS

I forgot my password!!!   Not to worry though, nor to swear (unless you like that sort of thing)... there are always ways to work around this little pause in your day.


PASSWORD MANAGERS

I know you are going to say: I thought we were not supposed to write our passwords down... read on you ninny. Of course you shouldn't write down: Account Password - blah343blah... Come on, don't be silly, be something more sophisticated.  Think encryption. Even if your device or wallet is stolen you passwords remain safe with these managers.

Follow this BLOG!! Through RSS or click the FOLLOW link.  

There's and APP for that! Agile Web Solutions makes one and it's available to Mac, Windows, iPhone and iPad users.  The product is 1Password and the offer is peace of mind and safe web browsing.

SplashID promises a secure password manager that runs on your mobile device (phone).  They do this for an unlimited number of record categories and store other types of personal and sensitive information, boasting unbreakable portable protection.

PasswordCard is a credit card sized printout that is generated with various colors for separate accounts, the password is encrypted within other letters and numbers, read in the direction (left to right or vice versa) you decide... click link for more information, answers to your questions and to print yours.

If you're just a cheap so-and-so, that PasswordCard is free, as is this solution from KeePass which also offers encryption algorithms.  Need to spend money to feel safe, ok money-bags, consider RoboForm which allows you to log into websites automatically as well as encrypts your passwords, all for around $30 American dollars.  Your logins are in one place, you can access from anywhere and this also fills in forms for you utilizing your safely stored data.

All these solutions to your memory problem are peanut and elephant free! I hope you enjoyed this article.

Do you have a favorite password manager? Please share in the comments area.  Found this informative or helpful? FaceBook this link!